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I have in the past attempted to keep journals, and generally, my attempts have been short-lived. I am now resurrecting that noble art of journal writing, in hopes that it will turn out to be a sustained nightly exercise. Having said what has been said, one question comes to mind. What, really, is the impetus for making this very journal entry? Perhaps a lack of an alternative activity in which to invest my time and engage my mind? Perhaps I am compelled to do so by that controversial notion, predestination? Perhaps something more sublime and ephemeral? Whatever the reason, I refuse to assume the temperament of my past journal entries—that of feisty complaints about the general unfairness of life. I choose, instead, to write for the sheer intrinsic joys of writing. I choose to let my thoughts proceed in the very sequence in which they form in my mind... The very notion of sequential formation of thoughts makes me wonder where, indeed, these thoughts form. Is my skull, (the physical, anatomical structure), the residence of my mind? And for that matter, is my mind a mere abstract reference to my brain and its neurological processes, or does it refer, simply, to the accumulation of my faculties and experiences? Hmm… The thoughts that one’s mind is capable of pursuing when allowed to roam of its own accord is quite literally mind-boggling. It is amazing the way one’s thoughts easily form haphazard and frivolous chains of thoughts when unfettered by conscious effort. The very idea of chains of thought makes me wonder if it is, indeed, possible to be awake or conscious without having thoughts going through one’s mind. The thought of trying not to have a thought is, pray see, a thought in itself! An attempt to reduce one’s mind to a tabula rasa is, in essence, an exercise in futility. All right, enough of all this crazy stuff. There is a far more philosophical issue at hand. How did I come to harbor the ridiculous proposition that if I perform a combination of actions simultaneously, I would achieve omnipotence and omniscience, like God? Why do I have the blasphemous audacity even to dare think that God was, perhaps, once mortal, and achieved Godhood upon carrying out these, as yet undiscovered combination of activities simultaneously? What impudence. What impertinence! (As I write I quiver with trepidation at my own insolence). The things I think might yet be the death of me. At any rate, you might now be asking, and what are these combinations of activities that you propose that could possibly propel one into Godhood? Warning: If you have a low threshold for tolerating nauseating stuff, please do not read any further! Well? Well, defecating, urinating, sneezing, spitting, and cleaning your ear simultaneously, would be a prime example of such a catalog of activities. Now whether doing all these things simultaneously is anatomically feasible is quite debatable, but the unifying factor among them, if I may draw your attention to it, is that all consist of expelling substances from the major body openings. (Admittedly, your ear isn’t voluntarily spewing earwax of its own volition, hence the imperative for your hand to facilitate the process...) Will you, please, at your leisure, take it upon yourself to experiment with my proposition for attaining omnipotence and contact me to relay your success in the quest for achieving Godhood? I have to go to sleep now; it’ll be 1:00 a.m. in less than 10 minutes and I have the distinct feeling that I won’t believe I wrote one word of what has been written so far, when I read this journal tomorrow, or indeed, six-months from now. Goodnight. undated [c. late 2002 - early 2003] |
